Survive and Thrive

“I feel that if we’d had a better sense of what my dad’s mental health problem was, we could have done more for him.” This man, who has chosen to remain anonymous, lost his dad to his mental health struggles almost a decade ago. “We didn’t have enough tools. We didn’t know what we were doing”. 

With mental health becoming less taboo in today’s culture, we see more studies suggesting that people are becoming more and more open about discussing mental health. One would think that because of this, we would also see an increase in accommodations and resources for this population. However, the opposite seems to be the case.

A report put out by the actuary firm Milliman found that two-thirds of Americans with a diagnosed mental health condition were unable to access treatment in 2021, even if they had insurance. The mental health advocacy group, Inseparable, commissioned this report. They also stated “We kept hearing nightmare stories about Americans not getting the treatment that they needed because insurance companies were denying them care”, but there was not enough data to show just how extensive this problem is. 

As a registered nurse who works in a psychiatric hospital, I see this all too often. A patient is admitted with drug addiction, psychosis, severe depression or maybe even a combination of these and other problems. Shortly after or sometimes before the patient is brought over, staff will receive calls from the patient’s family members  saying “What do we do now? How could he or she have gotten to this point without us noticing? Is it our fault?”

The number one thing I tell these people is to encourage the patient to stick with the treatment plan. It is very common for people to feel helpless and at the end of their rope when first being admitted to the emergency room, but by the time they get to the actual addiction treatment facility or psychiatric hospital, they begin to say “I don’t think this is meant for me. I just overreacted. When can I get out?”

If your loved one has just been admitted as an inpatient, please validate their initial concerns for going to the emergency room or to the facility’s intake, and encourage them to stay. When they call home, tell them you’re proud of them and that you are there for them. Provide emotional support. Try to listen to them without judgment, and try to express empathy and understanding. 

Another thing to remember is that this will be a stressful time for the family as well. Take some time off if you can, talk with a professional for yourself, and do your best to be healthy for yourself and for your family members. You cannot give from an empty cup.

An important thing to note is that an inpatient stay does not mean that when the person is discharged they are cured. It is not uncommon for people who struggle with some of these conditions to need to be admitted again in the future. By encouraging open communication with them, listening without judgment,  and encouraging them to continue to take their medications and go to therapy you may find that the time span between each admission is much longer than it would have been without your support.

Lastly, I would say educate yourself on your family member’s condition. This can be done with their doctor during their stay, going to family sessions before their discharge, and even asking for more resources from those professionals you speak with. Do not educate yourself by using media and  google searches. Get your information from reliable sources. One that I recommend is The National Institute of Mental Health website. There you can learn about statistics, read fact sheets about conditions and even look into clinical trials.

Having a family member hospitalized for a mental health condition can be a scary thing full of uncertainty, but you as a family member can play a crucial role in supporting their recovery and well-being.